Archive

Posts Tagged ‘Sketch comedy’

The Cure !?

September 26th, 2009

Heres a sketch I wrote a while back. Let me know what you guys think.

CAST

Jared Jr.-early 20’s

Dr. Brauns-early 40’s

Pharmacist-early 30’s

Jared Sr.-40’s

(Starts off at dinner table)

Jared

( kinda uncertain, nervously ask)

Hey dad there is something I want to talk to you about but it’s kinda personal…

Jared Sr.

Well what is it son you know u can feel comfortable to tell me anything.

Jared

It’s about a dream I keep having. I always end up raping my self.

Jared Sr.

So a recurring butt sex dream… hmmm well you know when I was your age I used have recurring dream myself.

Jared

(excited)

Really Dad!!!?

Jared Sr.

I sure did. I would be in my mother’s night gown running around the city as people threw bananas at me in broad daylight. The bananas grew annoying but I looked great in that night gown better than grandma.

Jared

Well what do you think is going on with me dad?

Jared Sr.

Sounds like an addiction. An addiction to masturbation but just to be on the safe side we should make a visit to Dr. Brauns.

(Cuts to Dr Office)

Dr. Brauns

(Looks down on clip board with paper walks in room)

Hey Jared how you been

Jared

…ehh alright I guess

Dr. Brauns

It says here a recurring butt sex dream…well the good news is that your not going to die. What I’m going to do is write you up a script for some medication. Its a new drug we can try out and see out how it works.(writes script and hands to Jared) I’m running a little behind, but ill check in with ya to see how the meds are going…

(Dr.Brauns Exits the room)

(Cuts to Pharmacy in the same building)

Pharmacist

(Next to him stands a very beautiful girl seemingly out of place)

Your meds are ready… neosporin and one prescription strength hooker correct.

Jared

(Approaches counter nervously”)

Yup that would be for me… (Makes eye contact with pretty lady, he leaves pharmacy smiling with the lady, she is carrying the Neosporin)

(Cuts back to dinner table, thy are just finishing dinner)

Jared Sr.

So Jared how’s your medication working?

Jared

Oh it’s working great, there’s just one thing… it burns when I pee now ….

Jared Sr.

(Sounding very genial, very fatherly advice like)

Well I think you’ve learned a valuable lesson son. Hookers can’t cure loneliness.

(Dr. Brauns enters the room with no shirt; he walks over to give Jared Sr. a massage)

Jared

(surprised)

Dr. Brauns funny seeing you here.

Dr. Brauns

(Still giving Jared Sr. a neck massage)

Well as apart of my community service due to soliciting prostitutes… I am obligated to magically appear shirtless whenever lessons or morals are learned. Apparently she wasn’t fda approved. You know Jared, your father is right. Sometimes using a hooker can cost you… in your case VD, in my case my license to practice…

Jared

You know what you’re a pretty smart fella dad. You too Dr. Brauns

Jared Sr.

We are pretty fart smellers aren’t we?

(They all obnoxious laugh in unison)

(Blackout)

Self Says what , , ,

Steroids Make You Hilarious AKA The Blockhead Q&A

August 3rd, 2009

Blockhead: the talented producer known most notably for his work with Aesop Rock and his own albums on Ninja Tune also happens to be a very funny guy. Whether it’s the satirical rap group Party Fun Action Committee (of which he is a member of) or his blog Sweeping Generalizations, where he laments on everything ranging from why flying sucks to the awkwardness that occurs at weddings. Insightfully dead on yet very comedic, his sensibilities are ones that are appreciated and welcomed.

I asked Blockhead a few questions regarding his thoughts on humor and as an added bonus his top 5 unintentionally funny rap songs. Enjoy…

Where do you get your humor from ?

I watched mad TV I still do, but when i was little i watched a many sitcoms as possible.  Shit like pee wee’s playhouse and night court were my joints. When i got a little older, “Married with children” changed the game for me. It was my first exposure to “risky” comedy. Granted, it was low brow as fuck but it definitely opened my eyes to a different kind of humor. But then again, I was the kid in the sandbox teaching the other kids curse words.

Were you into sketch comedy growing up and if so what were your favorites and what made them funny

I definitely was, but my taste got more refined in my early teens. I watched “Kids in the hall” like crazy , as well as SNL and “In Living Color”. Actually, now that i think about, “In Living Color” was my shit. I would tape it and rewatch it over and over. I loved the impressions and I could do a bunch of them myself. A little known fact about me is that I can do some pretty good impressions, but mostly of friends so they’re only funny to me.

How did Pfac come together, I hear it goes back to a public access show…

Yeah. back in the late 90’s my whole crew of friends did this public access show in NYC. At the time public access was kinda the shit. Mad people watched it and it actually had some status to it. Our show was called “Baby Show” and it was basically us doing little skits (mostly improv’d around an idea) and overdubs of movies and tv shows ,where we put words into the peoples mouths. We did it for about 3 years and actually had a decent following. I was on it , as well as Jer (the other guy in pfac) and I think PFAC was just an extension of that but through music. Oh, by the way, Aesop (ROCK) and Adrian Grenier were also on it occasionally. I think if tapes emerged, it could bury all of our careers quite easily.

Here’s Blockhead and Aesop Rock taking it back to their public access show roots. Look out for a cameo by a knife throwing Rob Sonic.

 

PFAC recently returned this year to critique your buddies Yameen’s album, have we seen the last of PFAC.

I don’t know. I’m too busy to really doing real songs and Jer is even busier than me. The stuff for Yameen, was just a one off. I will say that jer has been doing music under the name “Sir Jarlsburg” and it’s basically him singing and rapping as an olde timey knight. It’s pretty much the craziest shit i’ve ever heard. I recommend peeping it on myspace.

Do you  catch any sketch comedy now a days? If so which ones do you like?

I still peep SNL when I’m home. the human giant has it’s moments. I’d venture to say,  that I see more random funny sketches on youtube then any particular show.

Who makes you laugh these days?

Tons of shit…I love comedians. Louis CK’s last stand up was amazing. Patrice O’neal is another favorite. As for actors, all the good ones are pretty known by now. Zach Galafinakias has blown up cause of “The Hangover” but he’d be one i’d say to watch.

Who’s more loonier Ultimate Warrior or Ron Artest?

it’s a very very close call but i’ma go with the Ultimate Warrior (RIP?). His interviews may be some of the best shit i’ve ever heard. steroids apparently make you hilarious. Artest is amazing as well. he should have his own “late night” interview talk show.

Top 5 uninentionally funny rap songs? 

Tough one…It’s hard to pinpoint, so i might just go into genre’s with some of these.
#1 All time has to be “Black Shampoo” by U-God. there is a slight chance he was doing it intentionally but whatever, that shit is comedy gold.
#2 Might be 95% of white rappers from canada. Shit is disgusting. not so much for the lyrics but the voices are comical on whole other level.
#3 Hulk Hogan’s rap album is amazing. It’s all about taking vitamins and saying your prayers. There’s one song called “When the hulkster goes to heaven” about his friend that died in the ring. While his heart was in the right place , it basically becomes a song about how the guy was a great hulkamaniac…and he died.
#4 My old demo’s of me rapping. Not that anyone will ever hear them but man, that shit is brutal. Mad lyrical with a weak voice and a suspect flow.
 #5 The cookie monster rap:
I had this old sesame st. video tape and there is this one joint that the cookie monster does called “Healthy Food” where he rhymes over a faux run dmc kind of beat.

Healthy Food

 

Blockhead’s  new album “The Music Scene” will be dropping this fall on Ninja Tune records. His blog can be found at www.definitivejux.net.  You can also check him out on myspace at www.myspace.com/theblockhishot

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